Thursday, May 31, 2007
Human
You'd think that I would learn. I never seem to though. Eventually perhaps I will be able to start treating people as they treat me, instead of treating them as I hope they would treat me. All I seem to bring to myself by treating others as I would have them behave toward me is pain and misery. Masochist that I am, I just seem to continue on in my bull headed stubborn ways and yet still part of me is peeled away every time. There are many a time of late that I curse my sense of loyalty toward those that interest me. I truly wish at times that I could just walk away from them all, just start afresh someplace else. The cynical bastard within screams that it would all just repeat itself. Fool that I am, I try to drown out that voice. My tolerance is wearing thinner every day.
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Back in the saddle
Work, as often happens, was meh. After work on the other hand was much more enjoyable.
Last week I began a World of Darkness Mage chronicle set in Boston. Tonight, all five of the players I had planned on were available to game and the group picked up a sixth. I was pleased. There was much wierdness and a little bit of paradox. Everyone seemed a bit tired, but all the same, fun was had and characters Awakened. It seems like it has been quite a while since I did any storytelling, I'm slowly but surely beginning to get back into the groove though. I can hardly wait until next week. Fun fun fun.
Last week I began a World of Darkness Mage chronicle set in Boston. Tonight, all five of the players I had planned on were available to game and the group picked up a sixth. I was pleased. There was much wierdness and a little bit of paradox. Everyone seemed a bit tired, but all the same, fun was had and characters Awakened. It seems like it has been quite a while since I did any storytelling, I'm slowly but surely beginning to get back into the groove though. I can hardly wait until next week. Fun fun fun.
Monday, May 28, 2007
Hoody frickin hoo
Seeing as how I so often tend to feel somewhat better after expressing myself, I have decided to continue to do the whole blog/journal thing.
Today was one of those crazy days for me. Nothing to terribly exciting happened. Unless you count the mood swings. Seemed that I would go from depressed to pissed off to feeling decent and back again in the space of minutes. I just toughed it out as usual, things settled down eventually. There was more I was going to write about, but now it's wandered off into the dark recesses of my mind and I don't really feel like rummaging about to find it. Maybe later it will come back and I'll feel the urge to vent.
Today was one of those crazy days for me. Nothing to terribly exciting happened. Unless you count the mood swings. Seemed that I would go from depressed to pissed off to feeling decent and back again in the space of minutes. I just toughed it out as usual, things settled down eventually. There was more I was going to write about, but now it's wandered off into the dark recesses of my mind and I don't really feel like rummaging about to find it. Maybe later it will come back and I'll feel the urge to vent.
Crap from the other place
Friday, May 25, 2007
Crusade
Current mood: restless
I realised that often, I'd only really blog when I was depressed. Doing so led to most my musing sounding rather dark and dreary. Meh. Such is life for me. Currently, I am shockingly enough, not way down in the dumps. Kinda in between. Anyhow, on to the thoughts that brough me here.
Crusades. We all have them, it seems to be part of human nature to have things we value highly. Being human also entails the desire to shape our surroundings into what we view as the way things should be. So off we go, trying our best to persuade those around us that our views are the only right views. Note, that at times, shockingly enough, we can be wrong. So, what might be some of my personal banners I carry high and proclaim loudly?
I consider myself anti-faddist. Fads, ugh. It is one thing if you genuinely enjoy something, a whole 'nother story if you just jump on the bandwagon. What might bring this to mind right now. Converse. Yep, old school canvas and rubber shoes. I have worn them since I was a youngling. Love the freedom they give me feetses, but the lack of support is not the best for me feetses, but I don't care. Anyhow, I was aghast when a couple years back I went to get a new pair and discovered that somehow my beloved footwear had become trendy. I dislike the thought of spending upwards of 40 bucks for a pair of Cons.
Labels. I try my best to not let myself fall into the trap of labelling others then dismissing them because they are '' Alas, I am but human, so I fail at times. (don't let anyone know, that can be our little secret) It annoys me to no end when people label others (or when I find myself doing the same). It would seem that humans like to make sure everything fits nice and neatly into little categories. Bah! Again I say, Bah!
I'm feeling a bit brain tired, so I shall cease for now.
Sunday, May 20, 2007
As the sand of the hourglass...
Current mood: calm
Advanced Global Personality Test Results
Extraversion |||||||||||||| 56%
Stability |||||||||||||| 56%
Orderliness |||||||||| 36%
Accommodation |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Interdependence |||||||||| 36%
Intellectual |||||||||||||||| 63%
Mystical |||||||||||||| 56%
Artistic |||||||||||||| 56%
Religious || 10%
Hedonism |||||| 23%
Materialism || 10%
Narcissism |||||| 23%
Adventurousness |||||||||||| 50%
Work ethic |||||| 30%
Self absorbed |||||| 23%
Conflict seeking |||||||||| 36%
Need to dominate |||||||||| 36%
Romantic |||||||||||||||| 70%
Avoidant |||| 16%
Anti-authority |||||||||||||| 56%
Wealth || 10%
Dependency |||||| 30%
Change averse |||||||||||| 43%
Cautiousness |||||||||||||| 56%
Individuality |||||||||||| 50%
Sexuality |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Peter pan complex |||||||||||||||| 63%
Physical security |||||||||||||||||||| 90%
Physical Fitness |||||| 30%
Histrionic |||||||||||| 50%
Paranoia |||||| 30%
Vanity |||||| 23%
Hypersensitivity |||||||||||| 43%
Female cliche |||||| 23%
Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com
Stability results were moderately high which suggests you are relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic.
Orderliness results were moderately low which suggests you are, at times, overly flexible, improvised, and fun seeking at the expense of reliability, work ethic, and long term accomplishment.
Extraversion results were moderately high which suggests you are, at times, overly talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting at the expense of developing your own individual interests and internally based identity.
trait snapshot:
messy, disorganized, not rule conscious, rebellious, rash, weird, ambivalent about chaos, likes bizarre things, anti-authority, not good at saving money, not a perfectionist, leaves many things unfinished, low self control, strange, desires more attention, romantic daydreamer, abstract, impractical, unproductive, leisurely, likes the unknown
Monday, May 07, 2007
Invisible...
Am I one of those people that seems destined to just slip through the cracks? It seems that unless I make a point of initiating contact with the majority of my friends, I just don't hear from them. I try to keep in touch, but I am not exactly always the best at doing so. Perhaps I've just managed to befriend those who are somewhat like me in that regard. All I know is that I'm becoming weary of being the one who initiates conversations. I feel like people just look right past me. It's rather frustrating. A good part of me just wants to give up, to stop caring, to just not bother any longer.
Who knows, this might just be my usual malaise and in a few days I'll be feeling better. Meh, right now, I just don't care.
Thursday, May 03, 2007
7 months ago
Advanced Global Personality Test Results
Extraversion |||||||||||| 43%
Stability |||||||||| 40%
Orderliness |||||||||| 36%
Accommodation |||||||||||||||| 63%
Interdependence |||||||||||| 50%
Intellectual |||||||||||||| 56%
Mystical |||||||||||||| 56%
Artistic |||||||||||| 50%
Religious |||||||||||| 43%
Hedonism |||||||||| 36%
Materialism |||||||||| 36%
Narcissism |||||| 30%
Adventurousness |||||||||||||| 56%
Work ethic |||||||||||| 43%
Self absorbed |||||||||| 36%
Conflict seeking |||||||||| 36%
Need to dominate |||||| 30%
Romantic |||||||||||||||| 70%
Avoidant |||| 16%
Anti-authority |||||||||||||| 56%
Wealth || 10%
Dependency |||||||||||| 43%
Change averse |||||||||| 36%
Cautiousness |||||||||||||| 56%
Individuality |||||||||||||||| 70%
Sexuality |||||||||||||||| 63%
Peter pan complex |||||||||||| 50%
Physical security |||||||||||||||| 70%
Physical Fitness |||||| 30%
Histrionic |||||||||| 36%
Paranoia |||||| 30%
Vanity |||||| 30%
Hypersensitivity |||||||||||| 50%
Female cliche |||| 16%
Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com
Monday, April 30, 2007
As time goes on...
Advanced Global Personality Test Results
Extraversion |||||||||||||| 56%
Stability |||||||||||||||| 66%
Orderliness |||||||||| 36%
Accommodation |||||||||||||||||||| 83%
Interdependence |||||||||||| 43%
Intellectual |||||||||||||||| 63%
Mystical |||||||||||| 50%
Artistic |||||||||||| 50%
Religious || 10%
Hedonism |||||| 30%
Materialism |||| 16%
Narcissism |||||| 30%
Adventurousness |||||||||||| 43%
Work ethic |||||||||||| 43%
Self absorbed |||||| 30%
Conflict seeking |||||||||||| 43%
Need to dominate |||||||||| 36%
Romantic |||||||||||||||| 70%
Avoidant |||||| 23%
Anti-authority |||||||||||| 43%
Wealth || 10%
Dependency |||||| 30%
Change averse |||||||||||||| 56%
Cautiousness |||||||||||||||| 63%
Individuality |||||||||||||||| 63%
Sexuality |||||||||||||||| 70%
Peter pan complex |||||||||||||| 56%
Physical security |||||||||||||||||||| 90%
Physical Fitness |||||||||| 37%
Histrionic |||||| 30%
Paranoia |||||||||| 36%
Vanity |||| 16%
Hypersensitivity |||||||||||| 43%
Female cliche |||||| 23%
Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com
trait snapshot:
messy, tough, disorganized, fearless, not rule conscious, likes the unknown, rarely worries, rash, attracted to the counter culture, rarely irritated, positive, resilient, abstract, not a perfectionist, risk taker, strange, weird, self reliant, leisurely, dangerous, anti-authority, trusting, optimistic, positive, thrill seeker, likes bizarre things, sarcastic
Monday, April 09, 2007
Discontent and Disconnected
Current mood: discontent
It seems that lately more often than not, I feel so disconnected and distance from those around me. I feel that I must put so much effort into feeling human and viewing those around me as real. There are a few people that at even the worst of times I still feel a bit of kinship for, but even then they seem somewhat distant. I wonder if something is broken in me or the years of depression have just washed out my capacity to feel real. I feel that if I stopped putting effort into trying to keep in contact with my friends that I would just slip into obscurity. At times I wonder why I even try to bother with continuing to reach out. I suppose that part of how I feel could be attributed to my surroundings. The ennui within me seems to grow with every day that I am here in Crescent City. My job, which was somewhat interesting at first, has begun to become nothing more than just a way to pay the bills. If it weren't for a few people that I work with that I kinda care about, I don't know how long I'd be able to last continuing to work there. I just don't know any longer what I want to do, except escape. The urge/need to get out increases. Part of me just doesn't care though, it just wants to lie down and die. To quit fighting. To just let go and lapse back into full blown despair. Why bother.
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
Carnivorous what?
Caterpillars. Yep, those little wiggly things that turn into butterflies and moths. Some of them eat other bugs.
I was wandering through the house going for another bowl of cereal and passed by the living room where my dad had Animal Planet on for my gramps to watch. I happened to overhear the fact that there is a Australian caterpillar that sneaks its way into an ant nest to devour their young. Fun stuff I tell ya. I learned something new today. Apparently there are a few varieties of meat loving caterpillars too. Excercise your google-fu to learn more.
Socially Responsible Hedonism
Little bit of a chat Frank (Nyarlathotep5150) and I (rabidgamer76) had. Just thought I'd share:
like I told Amanda tonight, "a relationship should only consist of three lines. 1) you make me happy, 2) I make you happy, 3) beyond that do whatever the hell you want. you get anymore complex than that and your going to a dark twisted place."
[03:43] rabidgamer76: any relationship should be based on the concept that there are many things in life that are more enjoyable if shared with another
[03:43] rabidgamer76: and you want that person to be the one you share something with
[03:45] Nyarlathotep5150: and if your love has conditions/restrictions placed upon it(other than that the other person reciprocate the sentiment), then its not love.
[03:46] rabidgamer76: love is all to often a word used to mean many things
[03:47] rabidgamer76: truely caring about someone shouldn't have to be tied to romantic feelings
[03:48] rabidgamer76: romance is good and all
[03:48] Nyarlathotep5150: for me there is little difference. If I can be close friends with a woman, I can be her lover too, all the feelings are there, its just a small step
[03:49] rabidgamer76: exactly
[03:49] rabidgamer76: if you care about someone enough, then odds are you wouldn't think twice about giving them pleasure
[03:50] rabidgamer76: course I kinda draw the line with how you define pleasure and dudes
[03:51] Nyarlathotep5150: I'm too wired with chivalry. I just genuinly treat women better. its not that I have a problem with gays, I just hate men.
[03:52] rabidgamer76: yeah, I can't say I hate guys, but I'm one myself
[03:52] rabidgamer76: heh, my dog's goober sense must've been tingling
[03:53] rabidgamer76: I cracked open the peanuts and she showed up
[03:56] Nyarlathotep5150: I think we need to do away with the institution of marage. and just have a taxbreak for long term roomates. it would do wonders for breaking that huge moral ban on promiscuity
[03:57] rabidgamer76: true true
[03:58] Nyarlathotep5150: I want a world where people realise that denial of self is NOT a mature life choice. and infact a healthy dose of selfishnes is closer to the case.
[04:00] Nyarlathotep5150: cause it seems like we're in the minority with our,"if it makes you happy, why not?" approach to life. it seems like everyone else is like,"you can't do that BECAUSE it makes you happy."
[04:00] rabidgamer76: yep
[04:00] rabidgamer76: I have come to realise this
[04:02] Nyarlathotep5150: its sick...esspecialy when you see people who didn't buy into those few religeons that sell that tripe, still living like that.
[04:02] rabidgamer76: it's not like we are preaching hedonism
[04:03] Nyarlathotep5150: well a little yeah. but a socialy responsible hedonism
[04:03] rabidgamer76: right
[04:03] rabidgamer76: a kind of 'find your pack and be happy with them' hedonism
[04:05] Nyarlathotep5150: yeah. a ,"Do your job, pay your bills, go to school. and in whatever time you have free, do whatever makes you feel better, cause you've earned it. kind of hedonism.
Friday, March 30, 2007
Pot Shots
My tag lines are courtesy of one Ashleigh Brilliant. The man is aptly named and if you are not familiar with him, I strongly suggest you learn more about him. He has managed to capture the human condition in little 17 word or less sayings, epigrams as he titles them. I usually change my tag line when whim strikes me or if there is an especially good Potshot of the Day on his site: http://www.ashleighbrilliant.com/
I purchased a couple of his books and found them quite enjoyable and couldn't resist buying the catalog of all 10000 of his witticisms.
Thursday, March 29, 2007
abattoir
clinging darkness all about
air rich with the scent of copper and offal
cold seeping up from callous floor
knees bent as if in prayer
fingers reaching outward finding naught
no breeze to caress confused features
noisome odor of sulfur as light briefly sparks
a flame from a match illuminates briefly
dismembered and crushed dreams
Crusade
Current mood: restless
I realised that often, I'd only really blog when I was depressed. Doing so led to most my musing sounding rather dark and dreary. Meh. Such is life for me. Currently, I am shockingly enough, not way down in the dumps. Kinda in between. Anyhow, on to the thoughts that brough me here.
Crusades. We all have them, it seems to be part of human nature to have things we value highly. Being human also entails the desire to shape our surroundings into what we view as the way things should be. So off we go, trying our best to persuade those around us that our views are the only right views. Note, that at times, shockingly enough, we can be wrong. So, what might be some of my personal banners I carry high and proclaim loudly?
I consider myself anti-faddist. Fads, ugh. It is one thing if you genuinely enjoy something, a whole 'nother story if you just jump on the bandwagon. What might bring this to mind right now. Converse. Yep, old school canvas and rubber shoes. I have worn them since I was a youngling. Love the freedom they give me feetses, but the lack of support is not the best for me feetses, but I don't care. Anyhow, I was aghast when a couple years back I went to get a new pair and discovered that somehow my beloved footwear had become trendy. I dislike the thought of spending upwards of 40 bucks for a pair of Cons.
Labels. I try my best to not let myself fall into the trap of labelling others then dismissing them because they are '' Alas, I am but human, so I fail at times. (don't let anyone know, that can be our little secret) It annoys me to no end when people label others (or when I find myself doing the same). It would seem that humans like to make sure everything fits nice and neatly into little categories. Bah! Again I say, Bah!
I'm feeling a bit brain tired, so I shall cease for now.
Sunday, May 20, 2007
As the sand of the hourglass...
Current mood: calm
Advanced Global Personality Test Results
Extraversion |||||||||||||| 56%
Stability |||||||||||||| 56%
Orderliness |||||||||| 36%
Accommodation |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Interdependence |||||||||| 36%
Intellectual |||||||||||||||| 63%
Mystical |||||||||||||| 56%
Artistic |||||||||||||| 56%
Religious || 10%
Hedonism |||||| 23%
Materialism || 10%
Narcissism |||||| 23%
Adventurousness |||||||||||| 50%
Work ethic |||||| 30%
Self absorbed |||||| 23%
Conflict seeking |||||||||| 36%
Need to dominate |||||||||| 36%
Romantic |||||||||||||||| 70%
Avoidant |||| 16%
Anti-authority |||||||||||||| 56%
Wealth || 10%
Dependency |||||| 30%
Change averse |||||||||||| 43%
Cautiousness |||||||||||||| 56%
Individuality |||||||||||| 50%
Sexuality |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Peter pan complex |||||||||||||||| 63%
Physical security |||||||||||||||||||| 90%
Physical Fitness |||||| 30%
Histrionic |||||||||||| 50%
Paranoia |||||| 30%
Vanity |||||| 23%
Hypersensitivity |||||||||||| 43%
Female cliche |||||| 23%
Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com
Stability results were moderately high which suggests you are relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic.
Orderliness results were moderately low which suggests you are, at times, overly flexible, improvised, and fun seeking at the expense of reliability, work ethic, and long term accomplishment.
Extraversion results were moderately high which suggests you are, at times, overly talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting at the expense of developing your own individual interests and internally based identity.
trait snapshot:
messy, disorganized, not rule conscious, rebellious, rash, weird, ambivalent about chaos, likes bizarre things, anti-authority, not good at saving money, not a perfectionist, leaves many things unfinished, low self control, strange, desires more attention, romantic daydreamer, abstract, impractical, unproductive, leisurely, likes the unknown
Monday, May 07, 2007
Invisible...
Am I one of those people that seems destined to just slip through the cracks? It seems that unless I make a point of initiating contact with the majority of my friends, I just don't hear from them. I try to keep in touch, but I am not exactly always the best at doing so. Perhaps I've just managed to befriend those who are somewhat like me in that regard. All I know is that I'm becoming weary of being the one who initiates conversations. I feel like people just look right past me. It's rather frustrating. A good part of me just wants to give up, to stop caring, to just not bother any longer.
Who knows, this might just be my usual malaise and in a few days I'll be feeling better. Meh, right now, I just don't care.
Thursday, May 03, 2007
7 months ago
Advanced Global Personality Test Results
Extraversion |||||||||||| 43%
Stability |||||||||| 40%
Orderliness |||||||||| 36%
Accommodation |||||||||||||||| 63%
Interdependence |||||||||||| 50%
Intellectual |||||||||||||| 56%
Mystical |||||||||||||| 56%
Artistic |||||||||||| 50%
Religious |||||||||||| 43%
Hedonism |||||||||| 36%
Materialism |||||||||| 36%
Narcissism |||||| 30%
Adventurousness |||||||||||||| 56%
Work ethic |||||||||||| 43%
Self absorbed |||||||||| 36%
Conflict seeking |||||||||| 36%
Need to dominate |||||| 30%
Romantic |||||||||||||||| 70%
Avoidant |||| 16%
Anti-authority |||||||||||||| 56%
Wealth || 10%
Dependency |||||||||||| 43%
Change averse |||||||||| 36%
Cautiousness |||||||||||||| 56%
Individuality |||||||||||||||| 70%
Sexuality |||||||||||||||| 63%
Peter pan complex |||||||||||| 50%
Physical security |||||||||||||||| 70%
Physical Fitness |||||| 30%
Histrionic |||||||||| 36%
Paranoia |||||| 30%
Vanity |||||| 30%
Hypersensitivity |||||||||||| 50%
Female cliche |||| 16%
Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com
Monday, April 30, 2007
As time goes on...
Advanced Global Personality Test Results
Extraversion |||||||||||||| 56%
Stability |||||||||||||||| 66%
Orderliness |||||||||| 36%
Accommodation |||||||||||||||||||| 83%
Interdependence |||||||||||| 43%
Intellectual |||||||||||||||| 63%
Mystical |||||||||||| 50%
Artistic |||||||||||| 50%
Religious || 10%
Hedonism |||||| 30%
Materialism |||| 16%
Narcissism |||||| 30%
Adventurousness |||||||||||| 43%
Work ethic |||||||||||| 43%
Self absorbed |||||| 30%
Conflict seeking |||||||||||| 43%
Need to dominate |||||||||| 36%
Romantic |||||||||||||||| 70%
Avoidant |||||| 23%
Anti-authority |||||||||||| 43%
Wealth || 10%
Dependency |||||| 30%
Change averse |||||||||||||| 56%
Cautiousness |||||||||||||||| 63%
Individuality |||||||||||||||| 63%
Sexuality |||||||||||||||| 70%
Peter pan complex |||||||||||||| 56%
Physical security |||||||||||||||||||| 90%
Physical Fitness |||||||||| 37%
Histrionic |||||| 30%
Paranoia |||||||||| 36%
Vanity |||| 16%
Hypersensitivity |||||||||||| 43%
Female cliche |||||| 23%
Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com
trait snapshot:
messy, tough, disorganized, fearless, not rule conscious, likes the unknown, rarely worries, rash, attracted to the counter culture, rarely irritated, positive, resilient, abstract, not a perfectionist, risk taker, strange, weird, self reliant, leisurely, dangerous, anti-authority, trusting, optimistic, positive, thrill seeker, likes bizarre things, sarcastic
Monday, April 09, 2007
Discontent and Disconnected
Current mood: discontent
It seems that lately more often than not, I feel so disconnected and distance from those around me. I feel that I must put so much effort into feeling human and viewing those around me as real. There are a few people that at even the worst of times I still feel a bit of kinship for, but even then they seem somewhat distant. I wonder if something is broken in me or the years of depression have just washed out my capacity to feel real. I feel that if I stopped putting effort into trying to keep in contact with my friends that I would just slip into obscurity. At times I wonder why I even try to bother with continuing to reach out. I suppose that part of how I feel could be attributed to my surroundings. The ennui within me seems to grow with every day that I am here in Crescent City. My job, which was somewhat interesting at first, has begun to become nothing more than just a way to pay the bills. If it weren't for a few people that I work with that I kinda care about, I don't know how long I'd be able to last continuing to work there. I just don't know any longer what I want to do, except escape. The urge/need to get out increases. Part of me just doesn't care though, it just wants to lie down and die. To quit fighting. To just let go and lapse back into full blown despair. Why bother.
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
Carnivorous what?
Caterpillars. Yep, those little wiggly things that turn into butterflies and moths. Some of them eat other bugs.
I was wandering through the house going for another bowl of cereal and passed by the living room where my dad had Animal Planet on for my gramps to watch. I happened to overhear the fact that there is a Australian caterpillar that sneaks its way into an ant nest to devour their young. Fun stuff I tell ya. I learned something new today. Apparently there are a few varieties of meat loving caterpillars too. Excercise your google-fu to learn more.
Socially Responsible Hedonism
Little bit of a chat Frank (Nyarlathotep5150) and I (rabidgamer76) had. Just thought I'd share:
like I told Amanda tonight, "a relationship should only consist of three lines. 1) you make me happy, 2) I make you happy, 3) beyond that do whatever the hell you want. you get anymore complex than that and your going to a dark twisted place."
[03:43] rabidgamer76: any relationship should be based on the concept that there are many things in life that are more enjoyable if shared with another
[03:43] rabidgamer76: and you want that person to be the one you share something with
[03:45] Nyarlathotep5150: and if your love has conditions/restrictions placed upon it(other than that the other person reciprocate the sentiment), then its not love.
[03:46] rabidgamer76: love is all to often a word used to mean many things
[03:47] rabidgamer76: truely caring about someone shouldn't have to be tied to romantic feelings
[03:48] rabidgamer76: romance is good and all
[03:48] Nyarlathotep5150: for me there is little difference. If I can be close friends with a woman, I can be her lover too, all the feelings are there, its just a small step
[03:49] rabidgamer76: exactly
[03:49] rabidgamer76: if you care about someone enough, then odds are you wouldn't think twice about giving them pleasure
[03:50] rabidgamer76: course I kinda draw the line with how you define pleasure and dudes
[03:51] Nyarlathotep5150: I'm too wired with chivalry. I just genuinly treat women better. its not that I have a problem with gays, I just hate men.
[03:52] rabidgamer76: yeah, I can't say I hate guys, but I'm one myself
[03:52] rabidgamer76: heh, my dog's goober sense must've been tingling
[03:53] rabidgamer76: I cracked open the peanuts and she showed up
[03:56] Nyarlathotep5150: I think we need to do away with the institution of marage. and just have a taxbreak for long term roomates. it would do wonders for breaking that huge moral ban on promiscuity
[03:57] rabidgamer76: true true
[03:58] Nyarlathotep5150: I want a world where people realise that denial of self is NOT a mature life choice. and infact a healthy dose of selfishnes is closer to the case.
[04:00] Nyarlathotep5150: cause it seems like we're in the minority with our,"if it makes you happy, why not?" approach to life. it seems like everyone else is like,"you can't do that BECAUSE it makes you happy."
[04:00] rabidgamer76: yep
[04:00] rabidgamer76: I have come to realise this
[04:02] Nyarlathotep5150: its sick...esspecialy when you see people who didn't buy into those few religeons that sell that tripe, still living like that.
[04:02] rabidgamer76: it's not like we are preaching hedonism
[04:03] Nyarlathotep5150: well a little yeah. but a socialy responsible hedonism
[04:03] rabidgamer76: right
[04:03] rabidgamer76: a kind of 'find your pack and be happy with them' hedonism
[04:05] Nyarlathotep5150: yeah. a ,"Do your job, pay your bills, go to school. and in whatever time you have free, do whatever makes you feel better, cause you've earned it. kind of hedonism.
Friday, March 30, 2007
Pot Shots
My tag lines are courtesy of one Ashleigh Brilliant. The man is aptly named and if you are not familiar with him, I strongly suggest you learn more about him. He has managed to capture the human condition in little 17 word or less sayings, epigrams as he titles them. I usually change my tag line when whim strikes me or if there is an especially good Potshot of the Day on his site: http://www.ashleighbrilliant.com/
I purchased a couple of his books and found them quite enjoyable and couldn't resist buying the catalog of all 10000 of his witticisms.
Thursday, March 29, 2007
abattoir
clinging darkness all about
air rich with the scent of copper and offal
cold seeping up from callous floor
knees bent as if in prayer
fingers reaching outward finding naught
no breeze to caress confused features
noisome odor of sulfur as light briefly sparks
a flame from a match illuminates briefly
dismembered and crushed dreams
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